VanCon APB: Beware of This Dangerous Killer!
Sunday, 28 August 2011 18:05 | Last Updated on Monday, 29 August 2011 00:33 | Written by Alice Jester | 
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HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
Authorities in Vancouver and the Sheraton Wall Centre are warning all citizens to be on the lookout for this white male, early 30's, 6' 1". He's considered armed and dangerous.
At approx 2:30 PDT, Jensen Ackles, an actor for the TV show "Supernatural," committed a brutal homicide on stage in front of a crowd of approx 1400 people. It was clear to all that witnessed this shocking event that Mr. Ackles wasn't in his right mind and snapped. As the victim made its surprise appearance on stage, Mr. Ackles jumped up, pulled a knife out of his pocket and gave no mercy, stabbing this innocent being multiple times to death.
A picture of the victim is below, just spotted a day earlier on stage with show co-stars Sebastian Roche and Misha Collins.
(Photos courtesy of @postalpixxie)
The victim, who's name has been withheld pending notification of the next of flock, was a bright yellow waterfowl, approx 18 inches tall, had a bright orange beak and a cheesy smile on its face. There was also a message scribbled on the side of this creature by Mr. Collins that we cannot disclose at this time due to the ongoing investigation. Plus it's naughty.
Jared Padalecki, co-star of "Supernatural," was on stage with Mr. Ackles and witnessed the attack first hand. He was obviously shaken by the entire gruesome incident. He stood at the back of the stage the entire time stunned and only had this to say shortly after answering a question about rioting in Vancouver. “I’m not scared of Vancouver, I’m scared of him.”
After the incident the panel was allowed to continue, with Mr. Padalecki even taking time to comfort Mr. Ackles, who slowly came to a realization of what he had done. “I didn’t expect him to come up behind me like that," was Mr. Ackles' defense. “I didn’t know the safe word.”
“It smelled like Sebastian," Mr. Ackles confessed, still shaken by the incident. “You better wash your knife,” advised Mr. Padalecki.
After the panel the perpetrator was seen leaving the venue. Authorities are currently protecting an almost full duck pond nearby. No statement has been made yet by the other ducks, who are obviously concerned for their safety.
While the crime is currently not considered pre-meditated, if you see the suspect in your vicinity we suggest you run far, far away. He might go nuts on y'all.
We'll have more on this tragic incident as news develops, including pictures, maybe some video and eyewitness accounts. Plus on site reporter Alice Jester will give a full rundown of the panel, which concluded without any more homicides.
Update: Here is an eyewitness video of the incident. Warning, it's pretty disturbing! (Okay, laugh your ass off disturbing).
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Comments
*ahem* I mean. This is a very serious matter. To be taken very seriously.
I heard the news come down through the Twitter feed and mourned this tragic loss. I am sure Mr. Ackles will be very remorseful now that he is in his right mind again.
May the Duck Rest In Peace (Or pieces as it may be).
Though it might be hard to convince fangirls to run away from Jensen Ackles.
Have you seen this?
by:nueva spn
http://nueva-spn.tumblr.com/post/9538080851/bye-duck-x
Awesome, I love it.
Sadly after viewing this very violent incident I fear for the duck I sent up to Vancouver. I had nightmares all night about Jensen killing it over and over again. Don't let him near the duck pond please!!!! Run little Duckies Runnnnnnn!!!!
Anyways thanks a bunch Alice for sharing all your experiences with your reader and i really liked the way your present it..fairly new reader of yours, Ritu
Can you please disclose the message contents or are the full details coming in next installment...also if you lease have any videos of VanCon pls do share..i dont know whr to look for them
Thank you for the hilarious and twisted news bulletin.I laughed myself silly and then spread the word.
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