Page 2 of 5Dean puts the joy buzzer on the ham and it’s an instant light display. Lightening, buzzing sounds, smoke, sizzling, the whole nine yards. Within a few seconds the boys have one well cooked ham. Dean in astonishment jokes "That'll do pig, that'll do." How does Dean know all these children's movie quotes? It's my guess that in the weeks in between hunts all these guys do is watch TV, movies, and read. As a matter of fact, I want to see a whole episode of them doing that. You know, I might actually write that. I've been itching to get back to the creative writing. Or better yet, it can be one of those filler episodes for season seven.
The fried up pig has now gotten Sam's attention. “That crap isn’t supposed to work.” Dean mentions it doesn't even have batteries, then pulls out a pocket knife and cuts himself a piece of ham. The new theory is cursed objects. Dean starts chowing down while asking Sam if there’s any link between the joy buzzer and itching powder. When did Sam find time to research all this? They were made in different countries, but bought in the same store. He offers Sam a piece, but Sam refuses. What would have even been funnier is if Sam tried the ham and realized it was really good and they both pigged out. Opportunity lost. The attention to continuity in this episode actually got kind of boring.
They're off to a small local business known as "The Conjurarium." It sells all those hokey novelties, and Dean with delight finds a whoopie cushion. A Sam bitchface! There’s actually several in this episode. We got so few when Sam went darkside. You know, someone once on livejournal used to analyze every single episode in detail and report statiscally things like the number of Sam bitchfaces and the number of times Dean would irk Sam or use "son of a bitch." I miss those and wish I had time to do them. My inner geek adores statistics.
The owner comes out and I can't tell if the entire exchange with Dean is bad writing, bad acting or both. This part is way too over the top for my tastes. The owner randomly complains about how he's been there twenty some years and the kids don't come in and buy stuff like they used to. They're into iPhones and all that. Duh, it's called fun dude. Dean gets a rise out of the guy by getting him to admit this makes him mad and he hates them. Dean, thinking he has his man, plonks down a rubber chicken on the counter and with one zap of the joy buzzer melts the thing down to holy hell. The owner freaks and backpedals like a pussy and Sam with one perplexed stare states the obvious. This guy is not a powerful witch. Dean apologizes and they split.
Okay, this next part just disturbs me. Not that it isn't well done, it is, but I can take impalings, heads exploding, hands being cut off, babysitters clawing their brains out, and all sorts of bloody torture but anything involving teeth truly gives me intense shivers. We all have our vices I guess. So, will I be able to recap this scene without losing it a little? Likely not.
Suburban house, surburban dad, suburban girl. Dad is holding the girl's tooth and telling her the story about how she leaves it under the pillow and the tooth fairy...shudder...will come and get it and leave her a quarter. What twisted freaking adult came up with this ritual??? Of course nowadays a tooth is worth a dollar and even my kids think that's a ripoff. The little girl thinks the whole story is a bit nuts and wants no part of it, but Dad convinces her it'll be alright. What I don’t get is dad is holding a molar. The first teeth kids lose are the front teeth. They don’t lose molars until they’re at least 10. By the time this kid loses a molar, she should have cashed in several times with the tooth fairy. But, I digress. Kids front teeth are really small and don’t show up on the camera well.
Ughhh, you really want me to go on? Fine. Little girl, it what turns out to be a very smart move for her, sneaks into Dad's room and puts the tooth under his pillow. Then dad (eeeee, must continue) wakes up and finds a bearded man in a pink fairy outfit with a pair of pliers hovering over him. Nope, stopping here, even if the deed was shown via shadows on the wall. Pulling noises and screaming were enough for me. One more thing to cross off the “thing to ruin” list.
Man is in the hospital refusing a drink through a straw. Eww, I still can't think about it without cringing. Sam leaves the room, and why they're doing the FBI thing in normal clothes is beyond me. Dean is flirting with a nurse and that makes me smile, for we haven't seen him do that in a while. It only makes Sam roll his eyes. I really think Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin, the writers of this episode, watched most of season two before writing this. Many of the brotherly quirks from that season are in here.
Dean comes over and gets the story from Sam about "toothless." Come on Dean, how would you feel if, never mind, I don't want to think about it. Sam got the description of the perpitrator. Large man, beard, wings, and a pink tutu. The tooth fairy. Dean speculates pain killers are involved. Maybe, but the guy got past locked doors and windows and didn’t trigger the alarm. He also left 32 quarters under the pillow, one for each tooth. Ouch, ouch, ouch, crouching into corner now. Happy place, happy place...This is even worse than Ren and Stimpy and the tooth beaver.
Dean can top Sam's crazy. Two kids upstairs have stomach ulcers from mixing pop rocks and coke. Another guy, “His face froze that way.” Sam needs more, so Dean obliges with a demonstration. Oh, that’s too good! How much do you want to bet Jensen is going to be berated into doing that face at every single con he’s at from now on? How long do you think he rehearsed that in front of a mirror? Sam takes in this news with his usual stoic behavior, and I’m wondering how could he not laugh at that? Who here thinks Jared blew a few takes before getting that right?
“I got nothing,” Sam says. Dean tells the story about how he thought sea monkeys were real. He’s talking about on TV ads, the sea monkey wife cooking the pot roast for the sea monkey dad and their sea monkey kids, dog in the sea monkey castle. He was six at the time, but he believed it. Dean figures out that everything that’s happening is based on lies that kids believe are true. Sam jumps into problem solving mode and thinks that whoever reshapes this kind of reality has the powers of a God, or a Trickster. Dean doesn’t agree, since whoever is doing this has the sense of humor of a nine year old. “Or you,” Sam says. Ooh, ding!
Dean is eating a giant ham sandwich back at the motel and Sam walks in. “Dude, seriously, still with the ham?” “We don’t have a fridge,” Dean answers. I’m not sure a fridge would have stopped him either. Sam has some info. He mapped out where all the strange incidents have happened. They form a circle around a two mile radius. In the center of it all is a farm house on 4 acres. “Our motel isn’t in that circle by any chance?” Sam says and asks why. Okay, you want to know. Dean holds up his palm, which has gone hairy. So, how would you react if your brother showed you that? Yep, Sam is squicked out.
“Aw, dude. That’s not what I think it is, is it?” A smiling Dean admits he got bored and that nurse was hot. Five seasons and this is the first time they went there! Sam is cringing, not laughing and then makes an awkwardly funny moment super funny. “You know you can go blind from that too.” Dean asks for five minutes and they’ll go check out that house. He walks away and Sam gets really pissy. “Hey, do not use my razor.” Dean smirks and we know that’s exactly what he’s gonna do. If anyone was counting Sam bitchfaces or Dean irking Sam in that one, it’s a fiesta!
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